Sleep better: delay your bedtime!
Wait, what?!
Yes, I’m seriously suggesting you delay your bedtime…for a while at least.
Why? Because, research shows that lying awake in bed, stressing about not sleeping, is actually counter-productive to getting a good night.
And if we force ourselves to go to bed too early that can end up being exactly what we do.
Advice from Harvard sleep experts says, it’s better to hit the sack sleepy.
However that’s not the whole story - if we're not getting any respite in the day, then waiting for sleepiness isn’t enough. We need to adjust what we’re doing during the day.
Here are my 7 tips to better sleep:
1/ Sleep isn’t just about what you do in the evening. It’s about how you start your day. If, like many ADHDers, you struggle to get started in the morning, kick-start your sleep-wake cycle (your circadian rhythm) as soon as possible by getting out in natural light for 15 to 20 mins as close to getting up as possible.
This triggers a cortisol boost in the morning that will get you going, see-sawing into a melatonin boost (sleep hormone) rise later in the day so that evenings cue sleep.
2/ What you do DURING the day is important too. Self-monitoring can be another ADHD challenge - knowing how we feel in the moment rather than it hitting us like a freight train after the event.
Checking in at various points in the day - how am I doing? what do I need? - allows us to understand if we’re taking care of our physical, mental and emotional needs.
If we don’t we can end up frazzled and buzzing at the end of the day or trying to numb out.
This can also lead to revenge bedtime procrastination. Yes, that’s an actual thing - putting off bedtime because our day was such a huge effort and there is NO WAY we’re going to bed early to do it all again tomorrow.
3/ Create a transition from daytime to evening activities. As ADHDers, transitions can be tough. That’s why it helps to signal to ourselves that it’s time to shift through an intentional transition between doing and relaxing each day.
Deciding when an ideal cut-off time is, is the first step, and having a few ideas about what helps that you can reach for without too much thinking.
Activities that can be helpful for creating this transition are individual - you’re looking to shift your energy and this could look like - dancing, walking in nature, meditation, breathwork, tapping, a bath…
4/ Be honest with yourself about your evening - we can have go-tos, and some are definitely more conducive to sleep than others. Notice when you’re doing/ finishing an evening activity how it’s made you feel. Are there some clues there? Strong emotional responses, physical responses, feeling on edge or overwhelmed? If that’s the case, it might be time to switch it up. And if a habit you’re not happy with is ingrained, don’t rely on willpower - take the temptation out of your visual field (or even better, out of the home.)
5/ Brain dump before bed - get a pad and paper out and create a stream of consciousness on the page. Whatever’s worrying you, dump it on paper. You can always rip it up and throw it away. Air your concerns so they don’t leave you lying awake.
6/ Switch the lights off - coming back to the sleep hormone melatonin - encourage the production by limiting light in the evenings - low lighting, screens on night mode (or not at all - even better).
7/ Finally - go to bed sleepy. If you feel tired, ride that wave. If you wake up in the night and are awake for more than 20 minutes, get up. You want to associate your bed primarily with sleep (other positive associations - sex, light reading or journaling but definitely not for stressing, technology or TV).
At first you may continue to go to bed late but gradually your sleepy time will creep forward as you put the right things in place during the day.